Te-Te-Te-Teeerrrrrooorist BLOG!
Terrorism Blows (Things up.)
Which is: "all children hate their parents when made to eat their veggies".Terrorism Blows (Things up.)
When we hear the word "Terrorism" what do we think of? 9/11? Osama "The Recycling Bin" Laden? Foreign Languages? Weird curry foods and "Gyros"? Not ending sentences with prepositions because some old stink bomb whore teacher in fucking high school English class thought it was classless and then she humiliated you in front of your peers by making you spell receive on the white board knowing that you were too tired to remember the "I" before "E" except after mother fucking "C" rule? Sure, sounds like terrorism to me.
But some would argue that the word "terrorism" is a constantly changing word that varies due to perspective (Sounds like something a terrorist would say). In fact there is a very common saying that states exactly this. It goes: "one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter". Or represented mathematically:
But some would argue that the word "terrorism" is a constantly changing word that varies due to perspective (Sounds like something a terrorist would say). In fact there is a very common saying that states exactly this. It goes: "one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter". Or represented mathematically:
| f(x + h) | = | (x + h)² + 1 = x² + 2xh + h² + 1. |
Where "x" represents the universal truth: "all love pizza", and "h" is merely a function of variable change due extra toppings and its relationship to the second universal truth represented by:
| f(x + h) |
Moving on...
It is safe to say that word terrorism is certainly subjective to the winds of perspective...or so I thought. You see there is a lot in this world that is foreign to me, countries I haven't seen, foods I haven't tasted, races of nocturnal dwarfish humans that only prey on the weak and wounded at night leaving no trace of their existence and further more plotting to murder the masterminds behind the show "Little People Big World" which has, frankly, made them look like little bitches....I haven't seen this either.
But recently I have seen the face of terrorism. It hides in plain sight. It is American. It tempts our children on the television then haunts their nightmares. It is extremely profitable, stealing millions of American dollars, and I can see no plausible end.
I'm talking about the Saw movies.
Jesus Christ.
First of all, I must admit that I have not seen all the Saw movies. I know, I know. What in god's name have I been doing? I did see the first one, and don't get me wrong it was ok. Danny Glover, the guy from The Princess Bride, ankle sawing, some terminally ill man was laying on the ground the whole movie?...It all seemed fine at the time. How did they get Danny Glover? I don't know....people need money and they stopped making Lethal Weapons.
But from watching that new trailer it seems that the terminally ill albino man is still alive. This is baffling. It seems that he is still, and has been for six movies, gathering humans who for one reason or the other are depressed and not living their lives to the fullest. You would think that in the time span that these movies have covered he would have been doing something more along the lines of a Bucket List type plot, where, in his last few years on Earth, he accomplished some of the goals he hadn't had the time to do when he was nice and healthy and probably had more color in his face and hair. Most people with terminal illness look for one last hooker to fuck, maybe try anal, and leave other peoples problems out of their own lives, as that might cause more stress than the actually disease that is eating away his body from the inside. I'm usually not one to cast the first stone, but this seems ridiculous.
But....These movies are consistently a box office success. So, although it's probably not the case, there could be a chance the Saw films contain some genuine elements of a good movie. Let's examine further.
Saw: 2 fellas kidnapped, trapped in a room. Family held by mysterious murderer. Trapped fellas have to play a game to determines who lives and who dies. Gore. Lesson learned. Twist = old man on floor the whole time was not just napping, but in fact planned the whole thing despite having a terminal illness.
Saw II: The killer Jigsaw is back at his games! More people kidnapped. More fucking games. People have to decide whether to play in these games that result in other peoples death in order to see someone in their family again. Albino napping man from first movie is still sick.
Saw III: Doctor kidnapped to treat still alive albino cracker. Albino gringo wants to "finish" his games. Turns out to be bullshit as 3 more movies are made after this one. I'm sure something happens with his family and people die.
Saw IV: I dunno.
Saw V: Probably some odd combination of the previous movies has something to do with this one.
Saw VI: White dude still alive somehow. Probably some blindsiding twist about paralleling story lines, family, games, and death. Note: Danny Glover never returns.
These movies fucking suck. It seems as though it doesn't matter which order you watch the Saw films, because they are all the same exact fucking thing. I'd go as far to say that Bill Gates cooked up some secret software that consumes our own human feces and shits out Saw movies. It is probably a vending machine in Japan that reads "Please insert 4 dumps of shit" then you insert your 4 dumps, and out pops a nice 100 page script including one villain, one protagonist, one twist that might have been nudged at during the film, and of course a nice CD-ROM of suspenseful, climax building, stock music that usually lets you know "The film is ending now. Please leave, we have your money."
And that's where the terrorism strikes. Let's look at the concept of Terrorism. In so many words, terrorism is that which uses fear to gain profit for the ones projecting that fear. The Saw movies use bad dialogue, repetition, and our own shit, just as other terrorists use car bombs, rocket launchers, and our own planes. These Saw Terrorists' only goal is take our money as they collect our shit dumps and feed them to their script shitting robots.
We have to take a stand and either stop shitting into the sewers where the Saw movie producers live and reproduce only to collect our shit and in the end our money, or start illegally pirating this saw movies and re-collecting our lost money.
PS. Please don't tell Michael Moore about this. He'll ruin it for us all.
